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Saphira

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Join date : 2009-11-21
Age : 32
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PostSubject: The venting thread   October 12th 2010, 10:42 am

I know people may think this is similar to the grinds my gears thread but the thought behind this one was more like geared around something in particular. Something that has happened to you that you just really need to vent about. Personally Ive found if I get to vent about something I feel a bit better rather than hold it inside. Try to keep names anon though at least if it has to do with particular people that will see it. If it's an outside person or something that's okay.


My venting weeeeeeeeeeeeee


In my life I've always been the one that bends over backwards for my friends. I would do anything and everything for them. Give rides, give money, blow off something I needed to do to help them, take them into my home when they had nowhere to go or were just in a bad situation and needed to get out, or like take care of their children when they needed it, so on. But then I have a massive downpoint in my life where I get really sick because of mold in my car (and yes it can make you very ill and stay with you for years) so I wasn't able to do all these things anymore because I could barely take care of myself with how sick I was. Then I had gotten really depressed. All of a sudden these people don't come around anymore or certain ones mooch what they still can get and when I say I can't do it anymore all of a sudden I'm a slut and a liar and a blackhearted person and all this other shit that people spit about me.

I don't quite get it personally if someone had done so much for you would you really be able to speak ill of them like that? Why do people insist on breaking people down? I was always the quiet one that never said anything when I was attacked I guess that's why people will say that about me now because I'll actually make a stand for myself. But how long can a person really just lay down and get beaten without making a stand or just giving up completely? I'm not one to give up so I made a stand for myself and I don't see that as being a bad person but maybe I'm wrong. I just know I'm tired of it all. I'm 25 and no matter how much I've tried to escape the bullshit it always comes around again. And now I'm always in the wrong for standing up for myself which hurts me too. I've never had anyone stand up for me when I always stood up for all my friends or family. I just don't get it.


Anyways that was just on my mind. Feel free to comment on it or share your opinions on it or just post your own rant.

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Sky Kitten
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PostSubject: Re: The venting thread   October 13th 2010, 1:51 am

You know, Kayla, I am in the exact same position as you. I feel as if I bend over backwards for everyone around me - whether it is people I love dearly, or people I clearly hate with a passion. However, sometimes when I do, I get yelled at because I did something wrong, or I get blamed for the shit they have started themselves. It is as if I never get a break, no matter what decisions I have to make.

I usually am the person who also keeps my mouth shut about things - I am quiet in a group and I listen and observe every person around me. Whenever I hear a person say something that is totally unjust or wrong, I just shut up - because I would not want ten other people attacking me because I have an opinion totally different from theirs. It is as if there is no free speech around.

I try my best to keep people happy and I want it to stay neutral; but when other shit has arise, I feel like I have to fix the mess for people before it gets worse. My mind then gets blown because most people are hard-headed and sometimes will not listen to any advice you give them. But then again, I cannot always stop a person from thinking something totally different from mine. But it's just, we should still explain our perspective.

-That's enough of my vent, haha :/-

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DarkChrysalis

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PostSubject: Re: The venting thread   October 13th 2010, 5:54 am

Sky Kitten wrote:

I usually am the person who also keeps my mouth shut about things - I am quiet in a group and I listen and observe every person around me. Whenever I hear a person say something that is totally unjust or wrong, I just shut up - because I would not want ten other people attacking me because I have an opinion totally different from theirs. It is as if there is no free speech around.

I try my best to keep people happy and I want it to stay neutral; but when other shit has arisen, I feel like I have to fix the mess for people before it gets worse. My mind then gets blown because most people are hard-headed and sometimes will not listen to any advice you give them. But then again, I cannot always stop a person from thinking something totally different from mine. But it's just, we should still explain our perspective.

It's incredible how accurate this is for me too... I know I come off as a pretty easy going guy with the way I present myself in chat, but really I'm just as full of turmoil when certain things arise in the chat. I like to mediate, not choose sides. I will NEVER form an opinion until I've had a good amount of time to hash out both sides of an argument. No matter how bad something seems, people need to realize there's a reason behing EVERYTHING that someone does, and its almost never facetious; you HAVE to dig deeper to get the information you want. Also, I'm actually very picky about what I say/type in serious situations. Even in this post, I've gone back and edited words/sentences to let it represent my feelings as accurate as possible. Just thought I'd let you know we're psychological soul mates <3

Now on to my reason for being here... I have been a loyal employee of Buffalo Wild Wings for over a year, and I enjoy the company of *most* the people that work there. I don't have any real enemies. I'm prompt, always have a smile on my face, basically a model employee (or at least as close as they're looking one to be). My availability is staggering... I have nearly 80 hours open in which they can have me work. I have come in on my days off to work for people. I have stayed late for other employees, worked through severly understaffed shifts as the leader in the group, and we always get through it somehow, usually at the sacrifice of me staying later than I should to try and get everyone out at a fair and decent time. I know my specs inside and out, whenever a manager needs to remember something like shelf life, how to make something, portion sizes, cooking times, temperatures, safety procedures, they'll usually just ask me and trust I'm right (side note: after MANY attempts to test me if I was correct, I've yet to be wrong on anything they ask me).

I have been in the food industry for nigh on 6 years, it's what I love to do, and I'm damn good at it. And with all of this, NOT ONLY will they refuse to make me a crew trainer, NOT ONLY will they not give me hours now that I need them with a car, laptop, phone, insurance and rent payments to make, but they also said I "haven't earned" a raise yet. To be clear, my wage is $8/hr which at first glance doesnt seem bad, until I tell you it's 75 FUCKING CENTS above Nebraska's minimum wage. I only endeavored to get a brand new car and laptop and all that shit because they had said they were looking for trainers who knew what they were doing and that wage reviews were to be done shortly. And nothing was ever done. I get THE most bullshit excuses, like I'm slow on cut-work (which I am, but its hard to do cut work when everyone else does fucking nothing when they're cutting so I have to stop what I'm doing to actually make the customers' damn food) or that I talk too much (didn't realize personality traits were legit excuses for witholding promotions). I'm at the end of my fucking rope. I just don't understand how inconsiderate and lethargic the GM is. Really what I want to do is go to the manager's face with my car's paperwork and tell him HE can start paying for my $17,000 loan so I can drive my ass to HIS work.

To make matters worse, there's another employee there (we'll call him Tom) that is constantly complaining about everything, always does sub-par work, is slow on every station, is a confrontational magnet (2 separate people have went to corporate to try and get him removed), swears openly in the restaurant about the STUPIDEST little things (he's been caught by several families walking past the kitchen and has been written up before). Yet, simply because he is much older, he makes $10. No other family, no kids, no pets, already has stuff payed for, everything. The only thing he sinks his money into is his stupid band and is always talking about making his own one. It's like why even bother? I have to be perfect all the fucking time for management to even notice me, and even that doesn't get me the same accreditation as a 30-something with no life. I've actually cried about this before, and so many times I've wanted to just walk out on service. One time I got to my car, but was able to control myself enough to go back. And I've been looking for other full-time options, but noone will hire me. At last count, I've put applications in to 30+ places. Not one phone call back for 6 months.

There is, however, a very tiny glimmer at the end of this tunnel. As some may already know, I was fortunate to get another job at a local arcade, and its been managable at least... I'm not in debt, I'm not losing money, I'm simply stable. I have no revenue, which is making it extremely hard to do things like move out on my own or go back to school. There are some affordable options, and I wouldn't need to go to some $5,000/yr college for what I want to study, but I can do ANYTHING if I'm not netting money. Back to the arcade... I started out there at $7.70/hr, which is fine since the work's ridiculously easy if you can handle kids well and it was my secondary source of income. However, after being there for only 3 months, I noticed my wage went up to $7.95 without me ever asking for anything. It's mind boggling, because the managers at the arcade (on the outside) give LESS caring for the workplace than the BWW one does, and yet even they could see that I worked my ass off to get what needs to be done (told me themselves), and said that I was already in line for another wage increase! Double-edged sword there, though; they arent looking for any supervisors (who get priority for full-time positions and have all those slots filled), so at most I could only get 15-20hrs/week. But they're still willing to pay me more than BWW... Also, thank my mom SO much for having connections... recently she got me into a bank chain because she sells jewelry and one of her clients is the regional manager for the chain. She had said that they weren't hiring right now, but to put my application in and whenever another spot was opened, or if another branch was built, I would be pulled straight to the front of the line. That could take a long time though, maybe too long.

I just really dont know how to go on from here, so I'll leave it at that. Maybe someone will quit at the arcade so I can take that spot, or maybe I should play the lottery. Also sweet, current thread champion lol
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iironiic
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PostSubject: Re: The venting thread   October 13th 2010, 9:04 am

You know what's funny about this (and I am being remotely serious)? This is accurate for me as well, and probably many more people on this site. It's funny to see how we were all the quiet ones in a group of friends. At occasions I would open up and say something humorous but generally speaking I am indeed a very shy person. I read all of your posts and I don't know how to help you all out but say "I'm sorry to hear that." That being said, I'll start ranting about my situation.

Back in high school, a half decade ago, I was one of those people that was top in the class, very popular, very social (iironiically I am the shy one), athletic, you name it. I am proud of what I have achieved in the past, from the times when I could only speak Chinese in kindergarten to the times when I was the last one to walk up on the stage and receive my diploma (which was a huge honor because I received all of the applause). I have so many people trying to compete against me academically and that just puts so much pressure on being the valedictorian in the class, but that's not what I'm ranting about.

Because many people know how "friendly" I am, for some odd reason, they decide to think that it's moral to walk up to me and get help (especially in math). Ok, not a problem! I'll help you with one question. But it has gotten to the point where people escalated this approach to attempt and copy my homework, demand an answer from me, do their math homework, etc. Of course I didn't give in, but it's pissing me off how so many people has no will to work their ass off to deserve a grade they are satisfied with. I've worked so hard to get all of my As in math, and all of my satisfactory grades as well. I wish others can do the same, but I guess they weren't as optimistic as I was.

Now that I'm a college boy, I wanted to start anew and try to not get myself tangled up in a stupid situation like I did back in high school. Guess what? Same shit happens here. Well I am a math tutor, but that doesn't annoy me. Many people who come to the "math learning center" are usually those that try to understand calculus. But people who managed to get my number constantly text me to help them when really, I know that they are the same people who I've dealt back in high school. It really sucks for so many reasons. A) I have "friends" who only wants to be my friends so that they can treat me like I am a mindless calculator and copy off all of my work. B) It's pulling down my grades, because I am so willing to sacrifice my grades just to save their sorry asses. C) It has gotten to the point where there is essentially no point in having friends. About 99.9% of my friends just try to use me for these reasons.

I tried to stop being caring, just to focus on my grades, but more importantly to give myself so much time to find out who I truly am. I still haven't manage to find a true answer, but one day, all of this shit will end. All of this "calculator" bullshit will fucking rot in the past. All I wanted from others is a strong friendship, and a good group of friends with no drama, nothing but pure love. It's all I asked for, and I never get it. Who knows if I'll ever get it, but only time will tell.

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eiddiM

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PostSubject: Re: The venting thread   October 14th 2010, 3:03 am

Ok recently I had to switch doctors for my ADHD, which I think most of you know I have. So with this my first appointment with this new doctor he told me to stop ALL caffeine consumption. I'd been meaning to tone back for a while but hey a good time. All fine and dandy.

Let me explain how my medication works in a nut shell. When I do not have it, I literally lack an attention span. I can't concentrate and I do before I think about it logically the way I want to. I'm an emotional wreck. If you yell at me for making a mistake i start crying. I can't do most math equations at my current math level. When I do have it I can do a math problem at my level slightly above average time. I can think I can pay attention, and I can control myself excellently. My medication is literally legal speed.

We then ran into some problems revolving around getting my medication. a pharmacy does not typically carry my meds in the dosage I take (I take the maximum dose allowed for stretara) So while they where trying to get my medication they gave us a 5 day supply of the split dose that if taken at once is my regulated dose. Irritating but ok. Manageable.

My mom thinks splitting my dose helps to calm me down, which it does, but the 2nd pill is very pointless. a 40 MG dose doesn't have ANY affect on me. So taking it keeps the levels of the medication in my system ok, but I still go back to the fact I can't concentrate or stay awake. On top of this I rarely remember to even TAKE the second dose. So by the time I take it, it's pretty much pointless.

Now, after we FINALLY got the doctor to call in my order (I literally went 5-7 days without ANY medication. I confined my self to my room for the most part as to not make a complete ass fucking cunt dick out of myself (more than usual)) my mom asks him to change it from my full dose to the split because SHE thinks she knows how it affects me better than I know. This is the starting of what's pissing me off.

So since then I've been struggling in school to pay attention and learn, I'm saying stupid shit to my classmates in psych, I literally had a famed "oh look a squirrel" moment. On top of this I was working with a friend of mine who drives me to and from my psych class (on Mondays and Wednesdays) on a physics lab. Now usually we do our labs together because we both know what the other one doesn't when it comes to it. But tonight I'd forgotten my 2nd pill again and took it while we ate some dinner. Now the entire time we were doing our lab (it happened to be the same this week and last week) I was of NO use. She literally did ALL the work. And it pisses me off because I did try to help but I couldn't think. and it PISSED me off. At one point she thought I was mad at her, which I wasn't I was mad at my own inability to think and be of some help. So yeah I'm mad my mom thinks she knows how I react and feel with the new medication dosage better than I do. And I'm the one taking it.

The sad thing is, she doesn't know that my school work is suffering because she trusts me because I will work like a motherfucker to pass. I don't wanna say anything, but I also wanna let her know that I can't stand it.

When I see someone I know is VERY SMART (like my friend who works with me on my science) and they're to fucking lazy to apply themselves, it's almost insulting. I work like bloody hell to get one assignment done and they don't even bother to try.

Let me make myself clear: this is NOT a woe is me my life is hard post. There are MANY other people with worse conditions than mine and have more of a right to vent than I do. They're life's are a LOT more difficult to endure with their conditions.
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wc
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PostSubject: Re: The venting thread   October 14th 2010, 3:21 am

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PostSubject: Re: The venting thread   October 14th 2010, 8:08 pm

Xx{Midnight}xX wrote:
Midde's vent etc.

First off, I want to apologize to you. I am one of those people too lazy to apply themselves. I have an IQ of 145, and I failed out of senior english, because I was too damn lazy to do homework assignments.
My justification to myself (and eventually to others) for the longest time was that I like to take it easy and relax, instead of get my shit in a bunch over work. But eventually i've come to realize that if you wait to do the work later, the stress of having it hang over your head takes all the fun out of relaxing (which, by that time, really isn't relaxing).

-I can't think of any more to write atm, brainfarting. Adding more later.
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kmay

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PostSubject: Re: The venting thread   October 14th 2010, 8:32 pm

hey everyone i WAS the same way. now i have knowledge of just about every type of person, i can read you in a second. and if i dont like what i see. i call it out. people call me a bitch, but FUCK THEM. people need to hear it once in a while. if you dont look good in something ill say it. if you are annoying me ill say it. no need to hold anything in for anyone else. its fucking stupid. idk when or how this change happened but i gotta say i feel like a better person because of it
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wc
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PostSubject: Re: The venting thread   October 14th 2010, 8:34 pm

hey im just like you mr xyronic only i never applied myself in school because i had no reason to


@kmay sounds like you finally hit puberty :']
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