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 Philosoraptor and other quotes on life

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Join date : 2009-11-26
Age : 26
Location : Somewhere in, B.C., Canada

PostSubject: Philosoraptor and other quotes on life   July 30th 2010, 4:51 am

For all of you with an iPod Touch or iPhone, get the app IMMEDIATELY!

- If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
- Why are there flotation devices under airplanes seats? Parachutes would be much more useful.
- If I was red-green colour-blind, could I ever truly experience Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day?
*BRAINBUSTER! - If Pinocchio said, "My nose is about to grow," what would happen?
- How can you look up spelling in the dictionary? Surely you must know the spelling in order to search it up.
- If a firefighter fights fires and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?
- If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown as well?
- When travelling at the speed of sound, can you still hear the radio?
- Without order, nothing can exist; without chaos, nothing can evolve.
- What temperature is room temperature? Every room is at room temperature.
- If a cat becomes radioactive, would it have 18 half-lives?
- If practice makes perfect, how do you explain taxi drivers?
- Just when you think nothing will ever get better, everything becomes dramatically worse.
- Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
- If you put a chameleon in a mirrored box, would colour would it be?
- Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
- Is the hardness of butter proportional to the softness of the bread?
- If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
- Are we humans? Or are we dancers?
- Why don't you ever see the headline: Psychic Wins Lottery?
- A minute can seem like such a long time depending on which side of the bathroom door you're on.
- Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
- Experience is a wonderful thing. You recognize a mistake when you make it again.
- If today is the first day of the rest of your life, what the hell was yesterday?!
- Change is inevitable. Except from vending machines.
- If a deaf-mute falls in a forest, does he make a sign?
- If life is hard, shouldn't we all be wearing helmets?
- People say there is an exception to every rule. Then why is there no exception to THAT one?
- If a cow laughed, would milk come out of it's nose?
- How do you know if a certificate of authenticity is authentic? Does it have a certificate of authenticity?
- A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never quite sure.
- I chose the path less traveled. But only because I was lost.
- Ever been scared half to death? Well, don't do it twice.
- Ever stop to think... and forget to start again?
- If you had a Kryptonite cross, could you defeat Superman and Dracula at the same time?
- A conclusion is the place you find yourself when tired of thinking.
- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
- Why do people like table dancing? Who wants to see a table dance?
- If nothing sticks to Teflon, how did they get it to stick to the pan?
- Time flies like lightning. Fruit flies like bananas.
- If you're in a car travelling at the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
- If you took all the cars in the world and placed them end to end... would someone try to pass them?
- Why do people recite a play and play at a recital?
- If you lose your left arm, your right arm will be left.
- If vegetable oil comes from vegetables... where does baby oil come from?
- Have you ever noticed how the people who tell you to calm down are the ones who got you angry in the first place?
- Do you need a silencer if you're going to shoot a mime artist?
- It's "only" a game "only" if your team is winning.
- If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
- If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is it considered a hostage situation?
- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
- Why does someone believe you when you say there are 4 billion stars in the universe but check when you say the paint is wet?
- If a clown had a child, and it started messing around, would he able to tell his child to stop clowning around?
- Today: is the tomorrow you thought about yesterday.
- If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year... why are there locks on the doors?
- Is a flashlight a case for keeping dead batteries?

And that's all for now. Don't go complaining to me about your sudden headache. I take no liability for this.

PS. Don't try answering them either.
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Join date : 2009-11-22
Age : 26
Location : Puyallup Washington

PostSubject: Re: Philosoraptor and other quotes on life   July 30th 2010, 4:59 am

- Ever been scared half to death? Well, don't do it twice.

Well being scared half to death = you 1/2 alive.
It happening again goes into 1/4th alive
and the cycles continued

Middie wins.
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Join date : 2010-06-05
Age : 23
Location : Madagascar

PostSubject: Re: Philosoraptor and other quotes on life   July 30th 2010, 5:22 am

- If a cow laughed, would milk come out of it's nose?

When a human laughs, does the contents of their stomach come out of their nose? No Razz
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Simfile Author

Join date : 2009-11-26
Age : 26
Location : Netherlands

PostSubject: Re: Philosoraptor and other quotes on life   July 30th 2010, 8:07 am

sounds like Murphy's Law, but contemporary and with more nonsense
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