T-Forc3 Simfile Author
Join date : 2009-11-26 Age : 32 Location : Somewhere in, B.C., Canada
| Subject: Philosoraptor and other quotes on life July 30th 2010, 4:51 am | |
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- If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you. - Why are there flotation devices under airplanes seats? Parachutes would be much more useful. - If I was red-green colour-blind, could I ever truly experience Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day? *BRAINBUSTER! - If Pinocchio said, "My nose is about to grow," what would happen? - How can you look up spelling in the dictionary? Surely you must know the spelling in order to search it up. - If a firefighter fights fires and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight? - If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown as well? - When travelling at the speed of sound, can you still hear the radio? - Without order, nothing can exist; without chaos, nothing can evolve. - What temperature is room temperature? Every room is at room temperature. - If a cat becomes radioactive, would it have 18 half-lives? - If practice makes perfect, how do you explain taxi drivers? - Just when you think nothing will ever get better, everything becomes dramatically worse. - Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? - If you put a chameleon in a mirrored box, would colour would it be? - Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? - Is the hardness of butter proportional to the softness of the bread? - If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. - Are we humans? Or are we dancers? - Why don't you ever see the headline: Psychic Wins Lottery? - A minute can seem like such a long time depending on which side of the bathroom door you're on. - Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? - Experience is a wonderful thing. You recognize a mistake when you make it again. - If today is the first day of the rest of your life, what the hell was yesterday?! - Change is inevitable. Except from vending machines. - If a deaf-mute falls in a forest, does he make a sign? - If life is hard, shouldn't we all be wearing helmets? - People say there is an exception to every rule. Then why is there no exception to THAT one? - If a cow laughed, would milk come out of it's nose? - How do you know if a certificate of authenticity is authentic? Does it have a certificate of authenticity? - A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never quite sure. - I chose the path less traveled. But only because I was lost. - Ever been scared half to death? Well, don't do it twice. - Ever stop to think... and forget to start again? - If you had a Kryptonite cross, could you defeat Superman and Dracula at the same time? - A conclusion is the place you find yourself when tired of thinking. - If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? - Why do people like table dancing? Who wants to see a table dance? - If nothing sticks to Teflon, how did they get it to stick to the pan? - Time flies like lightning. Fruit flies like bananas. - If you're in a car travelling at the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? - If you took all the cars in the world and placed them end to end... would someone try to pass them? - Why do people recite a play and play at a recital? - If you lose your left arm, your right arm will be left. - If vegetable oil comes from vegetables... where does baby oil come from? - Have you ever noticed how the people who tell you to calm down are the ones who got you angry in the first place? - Do you need a silencer if you're going to shoot a mime artist? - It's "only" a game "only" if your team is winning. - If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? - If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is it considered a hostage situation? - If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? - Why does someone believe you when you say there are 4 billion stars in the universe but check when you say the paint is wet? - If a clown had a child, and it started messing around, would he able to tell his child to stop clowning around? - Today: is the tomorrow you thought about yesterday. - If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year... why are there locks on the doors? - Is a flashlight a case for keeping dead batteries?
And that's all for now. Don't go complaining to me about your sudden headache. I take no liability for this.
PS. Don't try answering them either. | |
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eiddiM
Join date : 2009-11-22 Age : 31 Location : Puyallup Washington
| Subject: Re: Philosoraptor and other quotes on life July 30th 2010, 4:59 am | |
| - Ever been scared half to death? Well, don't do it twice.
Well being scared half to death = you 1/2 alive. It happening again goes into 1/4th alive and the cycles continued
Middie wins. | |
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prongsie
Join date : 2010-06-05 Age : 28 Location : Madagascar
| Subject: Re: Philosoraptor and other quotes on life July 30th 2010, 5:22 am | |
| - If a cow laughed, would milk come out of it's nose? When a human laughs, does the contents of their stomach come out of their nose? No | |
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Scintill Simfile Author
Join date : 2009-11-26 Age : 31 Location : Netherlands
| Subject: Re: Philosoraptor and other quotes on life July 30th 2010, 8:07 am | |
| sounds like Murphy's Law, but contemporary and with more nonsense | |
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| Subject: Re: Philosoraptor and other quotes on life | |
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